Harry Potter Book 7 is in Teh Bag
By The Parodist | July 29, 2007
Step 1
Oh, darnit. As much as I don’t want to tell you guys about the contest, I have to. Hmpft. What?! Ruin my chances of winning Harry Potter Book 7?! Puh-leeez. I’d keep it to myself had I any choice. Heh. But, yea, Yuga’s giving away the book, you simply have got to follow the contest mechanics. With more people fighting over it the better it seems, no sense of holding a contest if there aren’t any people to compete with. Makes sense, really. Ah, well. There goes my plan of dominating this thing. Arrggh. BUT this ain’t over yet. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve. I just may win this book yet.°
Step 2
“If you were given the chance to make an alternate ending of book 7, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, how would you write it?”
Eeep. This one’s a tad bit tricky since I’ve only started reading Book 2, no idea about the events that took place in Book 6 and only have the five movies to guide me. Hmmm. I guess I really do have to wing it, don’t I? Fine, here goes nothing —
To celebrate the seven books, I’ll be listing seven key points on how I’d like it to go before it reaches the end (in no particular order, whatsoever).
- I want to see Harry use his powers battling Voldemort, or any of them bad wizards, not by sheer luck or seemingly like some Eureka! moment (not that I’m saying he doesn’t know what he’s doing but, er, sometimes, he does come off like he doesn’t know what he’s doing) rather confidently and with a sense of authority. I mean, really.
- Harry and the gang would travel back in time (using Hermione’s Time trinket) going through all the events in the other books trying to correct mistakes over and over and over. Oh, wait. That means the story won’t end now would it? LOL.
- The ladies of Hogwarts, led by Hermione, compete (in a series of tests) with the ladies of Beauxbatons, led by Fleur. Ginny Weasley rises to the occasion, hence, Hogwarts win.
- Harry Potter ends up with Luna Lovegood after a trying love triangle involving Draco Malfoy even when Luna and Draco would look good together since their hair match. Heehee. But I happen to think Draco’s a jerk and an ass, so, I’d pity any girl who’d end up with someone like that. Heh.
- All the important people who died in the course of all seven books will come back to life, not as zombies, mind you, as soon as Harry and the gang defeats Voldemort. Yay! Lily and James aren’t really dead! Even Dumbledore! Hehe.
- Ron Weasley turns into a wizard powerhouse, shedding his fumbling, wimp-y self and becomes this sauve, strong and, yes, powerful wizard — sweeping Hermione off her feet — killing, er, Lucius Malfoy perhaps? All to the astonishment of his parents, Snape, Harry, and Dumbledore. That’ll be a sight to behold.
- Here’s an idea, since most if not all would still want the story to continue, they can wait another 11 years to see another rise of a dark lord to stir the waters of the world of wizards and witches, introducing next gen characters with increased powers with the old Harry and the gang teaching and guiding the young ones as they further explore mixing modern science and technology and ancient witchcraft and wizardry. It’ll be like WW3 only it’s less political — or is it?
Step 3
Tagging… Harry Potter Book 7 Contest | Harry Potter
Whoa. That was entertaining. I had fun coming up with those crazy ideas. LOL. What do you think? Well, that’s what this contest is all about, right? All for bagging the book. I want that book! It’s mine! It’s mine! Join if you dare. Hmpft.°
° Don’t get your knickers all bunched up. You know I’m kidding, right? I’m simply being theatrical. LOL. Go visit Abe’s blog to get a chance to win the book yourself!
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Topics: Blogs & Blogging, Books, Gallyvanting Episodes, Writing |
July 30th, 2007 at 3:18 am
Personally, I’d wanna see Harry sacrifice himself to kill Voldemort. But then again, that’s pretty cliche in a cynical world, and the series would end up becoming like Gotterdamerung or something.
July 30th, 2007 at 3:56 am
Rico: Gotter-whaa?! Anyway, most people want a happy ending in their stories esp Hollywood! I reckon it’s them French and Brits that come up with strange twists in and depressing endings for their films. LOL.
July 31st, 2007 at 9:59 am
Gotterdamerung means “the fall of the gods.” In Norse mythology, it kinda represents the end of the world. Where all gods, good and bad, die.
July 31st, 2007 at 4:23 pm
ron was here. my mind is blank so no smart ass comments for now. here’s my take on the book.
http://mrpoe.blogspot.com/2007/07/questions-left-unanswered-by-last-horny.html
when will i recieve my copy?
July 31st, 2007 at 9:45 pm
Rico: Interesting. Hmmm. Thanks!
Ron: Read the mechanics, you silly little twat! Interesting read , though.
August 1st, 2007 at 3:21 pm
andami nanaman weird instructions aka linking and stuff. nevermind. i have my copy anyway.
August 1st, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Ron: Ngerk. All you have to do is link to Abe’s post, broadcast the contest then technorati tag it then you’re all set. Just add to your existing post. Easy lang. It’s something I know you can do in a breeze.