A quick record of initial impressions on what lies ahead. Curious that sentiments are a touch lethargic and pedestrian, taking in circumstances that are extraordinary and somewhat reflective of a charmed life, I find myself disoriented. Mind over matter, I tell myself. It’s not that the luster’s lost nor that the high it brings has gone missing, it’s the contrived sense of life.
However, I am rooting for the will to win over the heart. I believe choices mold your life.
“.. if [she] would be beautiful and happy in her November of life, she will cherish all her present powers of mind.” — Jane Austen, Persuasion
Wrapping my head around the thought that I live a life wherein there are no mistakes. It may appear so, most of the times, but if I examine the choices I’ve made in the past, I can attribute my present to them. Makes me think that it is true that regardless of the pain you had to go through, you won’t change a thing in your past. It wasn’t because something you’ve done is wrong, it’s a choice to go a different way or to forge your own path.
Friends know me to be someone who thinks too much. Yes, I have to admit, I spend too much time inside my head to the point that I’ve become, ironically, too clinical. I wrap myself in a harrowing cocoon of melancholy. Might even be the reason why among the (western) seasons — for its allegorical significance, romantic imagery, and picturesque transition of elements — Autumn is a personal favourite. This is one of the reasons why I started to write.
Eventually, one will tire of all the supposed soap opera-like drama they’ve managed to build around them. I am. I’d like to have the Dementors, that seemed to have volunteered their services shadowing me, go on an indefinite leave. I need
some a truckload of cheer in my life. So evoking the Patronus Charm — holding on to the happiest memory I have that will even make Mr. Potter proud — I’m choosing Summer.
Spring brings hope. Summer glories in it and equips you for all the Novembers of life.
Summer in Australia. I’ll find cheer.
And dreams. And family. And eureka moments. And love.
P.S. Both photos were taken April 2011 (Autumn-Winter season) in Australia, hence the long straight hair and layered clothing, haha. Also, didja know that the film Rent’s screenplay is by Stephen Chbosky? Interesting trivia.