I would say I’ve been extremely busy over the past few months but the truth is, my life (and schedule plus priorities) changed in the course of the past year. I’ve allowed the wind to take me in a different direction — in the hope of finding myself. It’s true, I’m still on the road of discovery and it has been a rollercoaster of emotions. A love-hate relationship wherein the situations I’ve managed to find myself in and decisions I had to make have driven me into a passionate frenzy of craziness that this sudden halt had created an annoying void. My life, I find, has chosen to grow silent. It’s actually unnerving.

I sort of knew that I’d find myself here again. I’ve seen the signs but chose to look the other way. I couldn’t help it. I’m an eternal optimist and an incurable romantic. I’d rather work towards getting my happy endings than wallow in disappointed hopes. Better to acknowledge the change and adapt than dwell in the what-ifs and what-could’ve-beens of life. And I’m all for marking these changes and had started it off with my personal blog‘s new look. Nothing grand, just something that had kept my mind and hands busy last month and, now, I get to share this with you folks today.

Things come in their own seasons and events happen for special reasons. These things may not be wholly clear to me at this time but I’m certain that my understanding (at the moment I need it) will not fail me. I just need to keep my mind open and my heart turned upwards. Always remember where my hope is rooted and know that I will be lead to the place where I should be. Find strength to take each step towards a dimly lit future with the knowledge that — though I go at it alone (and seemingly misunderstood, unfortunately) — everything will be alright, simply because it’s true.

It’s funny how I realised that I’ve been surrounded by tasks deemed to be important which, in hindsight, I can now consider trivial. Then again, maybe they were important at that time but having taken myself out of it, these no longer hold bearing. Excuse me for thinking out loud. I guess, as I write this, I’m realising that there are still things that need thinking over. Looking at the books that I’ve managed to accumulate over the past year — some read and others I stopped reading mid-way — I’ve come to a conclusion about myself: I’m constantly chasing after adding something in my life… at the expense of another thing, hence, nothing was added at all, rather I had replaced things. I reckon I need to secure a balance.

The change will do me good. The lull will help me think more clearly and plan things concisely; not to mention, execute efficiently and effectively. And I have to admit that this is the much needed break (though I was hoping that I’d spend it on a beach somewhere, hehe) I’ve been waiting for. It does feel that I’ve finally come up for air.

Anyway, I’ve got books that needs to be read, thoughts to write down and a life to live. My dreams don’t end here and I’m not done chasing after them. It just seems that I’m needed somewhere else. I’m going a different direction now. Strange yet familiar, maybe, it’s actually not a different road. It’s just I who have changed and am seeing things differently.

Books in photo: [Read] Meatball Sundae, Seth Godin; Purple Cow, Seth Godin; The Last Song, Nicholas Sparks; The Time Traveller’s Wife, Audrey Niffenegger; [Unread] The Numerati, Stephen Baker; The Prince, Niccolo Machiavelli.

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Growing Up with My Parents
Growing up, my parents have created an environment wherein we, their children, work for the things we want, save for the things we want. From a simple trip to the mall with friends to new shoes or toys, we needed to show them we earned it; may it be doing extra chores around the house to getting the agreed on marks on our school card. We needed to barter our way to getting what we want.

Personally, I had, sometimes, resented it. I would find myself comparing myself with friends or classmates who seemed to have had it easy (pains of going to a semi-expensive private school). Cool clothes and things, freedom to hang out with friends outside school — whereas I had to settle for hand-me-downs and that occasional, close-to-trendy, things. As a kid, I was pathetically retarded like that.

But sitting here, writing this post, I can remember this thing that my mum had said and it was along the lines of, “One of my dreams was to buy a brand new car. I worked hard and I eventually did. I wouldn’t want to take away that opportunity to do something like that for yourself from you.” I don’t know if any of my siblings can recall her ever saying it but it had caused an imprint and had stayed with me.

This next bit is cliche but it’s true and worth celebrating, parents preaching about how we should live life and other stuff we thought unnecessary as a child proved to be valuable as we grew up. It’s only now that I have learned to appreciate how my parents brought me up: work for the things you want, be grateful for the opportunities given, never be satisfied with mediocre, and it’s good to have dreams in life.

All Grown Up.. Now What?
September of last year, I had decided to take on a ‘day job’ since we all know we need to be practical during these trying days. I have to tell you that it was a difficult decision to make since it felt like I’m giving up my passions. Having a day job would mean less time to write and blog, to travel and take photos. And though it did sort of turned out that way, other doors had opened up.

I’m also a Marketer, you see. Probably why the social web had been easy for me to embrace. It had merged my love for writing and interaction. It helped me grow and broaden my skills. The past five years had helped sustain my love for that field and cultivate something in me, fruits of which I’m now beginning to see.

Recently, after months of hard work, I’ve officially taken on the role of Marketing Manager for a popular brand of video game who had recently put up a Philippine-based office. What I love about my work is that every day is a constant challenge of pushing an immovable mountain. Fast-paced, industry-driven, dynamic and best of all, it’s online marketing.

Folks have been constantly asking me why I never chose to work for a magazine (been there, done that) or a PR firm and I would always say it’ll be tagged as ‘conflict of interest’. I don’t want to compromise the independent status of Style Manila. And I’ve been itching to do reports again — real and stuffy looking reports. Crazy but true. I guess being out of the corporate circulation for more than 4 years have caused me to digress and crave for the things ‘normal’ people do at work.

Finding this work opportunity was a dream. Though never would’ve been coined a geek, much less a gamer, working for a company known to have marketed its way to achieving a brand status like none of its counterparts ever could (so far) is quite a privilege. It helps that I’m still working in the field that I’ve been exposed to for the past 4 years — something that I had put a lot of weight on when I was mulling things over. Knowing that I’m capable of learning had helped me overcome the initial feeling of intimidation.

This dream had led to another dream getting fulfilled — my first laptop buy, a MacBook Pro, fondly called MrBoo. If you’ve read that post, you’ll see just how much I gushed over the whole incident. Hahaha.

Another dream I’m currently working hard to get takes the form of one of my prime projects for the company which is building a community through a little gamer community site that we had recently launched. Getting that email from the DEV team had truly caused my heart to jump — FINALLY, we’re live!

Big Dreams, Small Dreams
These things are small compared to the bigger dream that we all have. The important thing is that we are aware of them, big or small, in order that we don’t get lost in the trivialities of life. Problems come, people go but so long as you hold on to the things that matter like the values your parents have impressed on you and integrity, what people think or say will cease to matter. Remember to celebrate your everyday successes. It’s good to have dreams, the sort that keeps you going, enduring and fighting.

Thanks mum for not taking away the opportunity to do it for myself. The things I’ve achieved would’ve lost its lustre and my enjoyment, pale.

What about you folks? What sort of things have your parents taught you that you now value most? Any dreams fulfilled recently? Come, it’s your turn to share.

Photo was taken by a colleague using my camera with me sitting at my old desk in the office; January 2010.

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I’ve been using a Canon Rebel XTi 400D since February 2007 and an HP Pavilion dv9000 since March of 2008. I’ve managed to reach the maximum round of clicks for the dSLR and have started over. Imported roughly around 20,000 images, a number of which were then subjected to post-processing, layouts, etc so you can say that the number may have more or less doubled. I also do have my fair share of music and tv series download. Can you imagine just how much data that my lappytop now stores?

I use Vista. Getting past the collective groans, I have to say that I am quite happy with the OS. I reckon the system I use can take the load, however, remember how much data I ended up with? I started to feel the strain. I reckon this is why people shy away from folks with excess baggage. Each experience can be burdensome. Pardon the pun.

So back to stretching.

I decided to invest in an external hard drive. I reckon every laptop owner should have one esp if you’re the sort who likes to store a lot of data, from photos to documents. I’ve been shopping around for one, probably around the sizes of 80GB and 160GB, portable if possible. I actually have considered asking my brother who’s currently in the US to buy me one cuz I heard it’s cheaper there. But thanks to my bestfriend, she found a good deal over at TipidPC.com on a 1TB. Now this stretch is good. Hehe.

I’d like you to meet Teri, my (hopefully) trusty digital assistant. Er, well — Teri will be responsible for storing all pertinent files, which used to be with the Pav, from now on. All organised and such. This task of transferring stuff is a real treat for the OC in me. Heehee.

Teri is a My Book Essential Edition external hard drive from Western Digital. She can store up to 250,000 MP3s or 284,000 JPGs. Though this can vary based on file size and format, settings, features, software and other factors.

What’s in the box: External hard drive, USB 2.0 cable, AC adapter, Quick install guide

Software: Google Software (Google Toolbar, Google Desktop, and Picasa – Windows only)

Compatibility: Windows Vista/XP/2000, MAC OS X 10.3+ (may vary depending on user’s hardware configuration and OS)

Oh, don’t go assuming that since I dished out terms like configuration and such I’d know a lot about these things. Hahaha.

However, one of the things my parents had taught my siblings and I is that every little material thing bought or given has value, big or small, you need to be responsible enough to own one (or you have to step up to the responsibility of owning one), i.e. owning a car would mean knowing how to fix little things in case of emergencies, paying for the registration/insurance, etc. This requires self-study (cuz they sure as hell won’t teach you how to use something they might already consider complex, haha) and, of course, how to maintain it yourself (includes any fixes that will require money or bubble gums, hehe).

Personally, what really appealed to me was that it has a big storage space. I reckon spending Php 5,425.00 on it now will suit present and future needs. Don’t you agree? Of course, there’s my personal affinity with black gadgets. Hehe. The lappytop is black. Mr. X, Mr. E, and the PS3 are also black. I even went ahead and adopted a Black Labrador Retriever! So I really don’t mind that Teri came in Black, too! LOL.

Anyway, how about you folks? Have you ever thought about getting yourselves external hard drives? Is there a particular brand you prefer? Have you heard of Western Digital? Like I said, I’m not much of a techie really and this is the only brand I’ve ever tried so, yea, I’d appreciate any sort of feedback.

Update: I saw the very same box in Octagon which they’re selling for Php 6,995.00 as of May 2009.

Photo © 2009 Sasha Manuel

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A 5-Year Old Philosopher
“Mind over matter,” my nephew would say, esp on occasions — whilst spending time on the beach — when he found the water a tad bit cold but would still want to stay in simply because he wanted to continue playing in the sea. It was something that his dad would tell him whenever C finds himself in such situations. Mind over matter, indeed.

It seems that the core wisdom I had brought home with me came from the mouth of a 5-year old. Unexpected but I welcome this fantastic surprise. But where is it written that this sort of thing isn’t plausible? Sometimes, I even think that it’s the child who knows just how it is to live out a life. With passion, with excitement. Everything seems to be one delightful event after the next.

Those simple words ushered in a tumult in my mind, triggering a landslide of epiphanies. I write for I can’t hold everything in without confusion. The need to concretise a thought is much stronger than I had expected.

In Retrospect
Nothing’s impossible, I said. Funny how clear things are now that I’m thinking in retrospect. C and I were on the same page. I was teaching him to not give up when faced with an obstacle. And there he was reminding me that we can overcome an obstacle with just sheer will.

The philosophy doesn’t tell you to get out of the water. It pushes you to endure. Face it head on. Stand firm. One will break and it won’t be you. No obstacle placed in front of you is big enough to stop you from moving forward, from enjoying your life. Go around it, under it, over it, or plow right through it. Mind over matter.

Lord over the subconscious. Teach it not to speak lies. Break the habit of stopping yourself even before trying or the instinct of pulling away once burned. The vast universe is a lush ground for harvesting the power needed to overcome anything. Believe. Act. Persevere. You will gather the fruits of your labour.

Imagine how many times a bird fell before it took flight. It would continue trying until it can feel the wind beneath its wings, taking their feathered bodies up in the air. I can’t help but believe that as a bird is built for flight, so are we built to do what we’re destined to do. Whatever that is. And we can do it even if it means falling a million times. We are equipped with the strength to overcome.

Find your Inner Strength
Nothing’s impossible. Rough is only mental. It’s all a matter of conditioning one’s mind. The true strength you possess will astonish even the brave. Mind over matter.

I don’t believe in defeat.

I don’t believe in defeat.

I don’t believe in defeat.

What about you? Do you believe in defeat?

Photo © 2009 Sasha Manuel

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“I’M SIGNIFICANT! … Screamed the dust speck.” — Calvin

Life can be utterly and taxing-ly overwhelming. I’m barely halfway through the entire length of it yet I’m already tired, aren’t you? It’s all the falling, the detours, and the countless disheartening wrong turns. Lost and just about ready to throw in the towel. Yes, quit — even when you know there are loads of things still in store in the days ahead. Partly, I reckon, it’s esp because of that.

However, you still opt to take that step forward, may it be out of sheer will coupled with hope or just due to habit formed over time. You prod on. Toil. Breathe. But what sort of life is it without passion? Without direction? Where will you get the energy to live? And I mean really live.

Go back to the simple things. Find inspiration in the mundane. This will rekindle the fire you once had. This will allow you to remember why you were doing what you are doing; how you became who you are; which road to take to reach your goals; what steps to take to better yourself. This will help your entire self to grow.

Indeed, there’s treasure everywhere. All we have to do is look at life as a child would.

Funny, I just remembered how my nephew C would sometimes say “It’s impossible” whenever he faces something difficult to do and I would always tell him, “Nothing’s impossible, C.”

It’s in times like these that I choose to take a step back and brood. And dream. With Calvin and Hobbes. I ♥ Calvin and Hobbes.

P.S. Yes, I consult my Calvin and Hobbes collection for answers to life’s almost-impossible-to-answer questions. Hehe.

Image: amazon.com

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“Um. Er. Uh.” One would stammer when asked. Dear me, it’s a scary thought. Not being aware of what you’ve been doing. Or perhaps knowing what you’ve been doing but realising that they’re not exactly helping in bringing you closer to your goals. Have you even set goals in the first place?

I find comfort in routines. It helps ease me into the thinking zone. The more you think (depends on how you think and what you think about, of course), the more ideas will come. The more things make sense. This allows me to see a bigger picture, making it easier to come up with a workable game plan.

So, what have I been up to lately?

Spending more time with my own. Style Manila has always been a passion. I’m glad to have this opportunity to focus my energies on further improving the site. I’m also getting to spend more time on a pet project which I’m hoping to launch real soon. And I reckon I still have to push myself more on this one but I’m looking forward to posting more frequently on SashaManuel.com now. Ideas are there but sometimes I’m just too uninspired.

Tying up loose ends. Something you have to go through each time something ends. Sometimes it’s an easy transition, sometimes it’s not.

Re-connecting. It’s only been two weeks since I got back to Manila. I’ve been responding to invites to get together. I appreciate these people for welcoming me back home (like I’ve been gone long, no?) I’m loving my time with my baby, a black labrador retriever named Anika, who got left behind when I went to Australia.

Admittedly, I’m still working on some existing ideas, plus exploring a few possibilities. On the road — nope, not crossroads — of re-mapping a few aspects of my life. That’s how things sometimes are. Life can throw you a curve ball anytime. Do you give up on the first try? I hope not. You just have to deal. Take the bad with the good cuz this is the sort of thing that makes life sweeter.

But yea, sometimes, it’s easier to throw caution in the wind; great to just go along with whatever comes next but practicality pushes me to find a more stable ground. So, there’s that feeling of being torn. I have this odd thought that if I take a certain route, it’ll be like I’m selling out, that I’ve become a quitter. Another is that I’m killing my passion.

With keeping my options open, I hold on to the need to stay happy. I can no longer imagine doing something I’m not satisfied with.

Now, I’d like to ask the same question to you folks. What have you been up to lately?

P.S. This post was inspired by my sister’s post, Coming Up for Air Again.

Photo by Luis Buenaventura

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Yes, take a seat and rest a bit. It’s time for a bit of a break. No one said that life will ever get easier. Take this opportunity to enjoy some Handorf Humour. Hehe.

Women have been “cleaning the house” all our lives? Pah. LOL on that bit about the dull woman. Canetoads! WTF! LOL.

Are Rottweilers really that vicious? Good guard dogs then. Heehee.

“Who’s your daddy now?!” LMAO.

‘Nuff said. LOLOL.

Hope you folks had a good laugh!

Happy 2009 y’all!

P.S. Photos taken on a trip to Handorf in Adelaide Hills, South Australia. All spotted at this quaint shop that leather goods on the high street.

Photos © 2009 Sasha Manuel

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A perennial note-taker, an avid journal writer, a lover of the arts, and having a general fondness for literature. How else can I describe the stuff I busy my hands with outside the usual tapping on the keyboard and fiddling with the camera? I guess I’ve most of them covered.

Notes
Writing is my friend. I can’t imagine myself without it. I still love the smell of paper and watch words form as the ink touches the parchment. Life is poetry waiting to be transcribed, though I’m more of a story-teller than a poet. That’s probably why I’m more into notes. Notes that will help me form a full thought. Thoughts that fill my stories.

Doodles
Drawing, painting, illustrating… these are not my strongest points. I guess that’s why I prefer to call my scratches sketches, doodles. I doodle. There’s no complete thought nor emotion in the stuff I create. Just fragments of a thought. Half an idea. Nothing concrete. All passing fancies. Yes, you can say I’ve never even dared master it.

Scrapping
I’m a pack-rat. Er, sort of. I like keeping mementos with the intention of compiling them in one “scrapbook” but never (and I mean EVER) gotten around to doing it. I hold on to pieces of history like a leech but the sheer silliness of it pushes me to throw them away later on. Silly, silly, silly.

Stories
As much as I like telling them, I like reading them more. They take me to places that I’ve never been but have always wanted to go, meet people I’ve always wanted to meet, explore a period in time that’ll never, ever find myself in, and watch events unfold without having to wait and age.

To nurture these things, I treated myself to a Moleskine shopping spree over at Avalon.ph. I bought myself three (3) new ones to almost complete the large notebook collection. I already have the Ruled Notebook. New ones include: the Sketchbook, the Ruled Reporter Notebook, and the Squared Notebook. Honestly, now that I have these Moleskine notebooks in my hands, I can’t — for the life of me — figure out what to do with them. For fear of ruining its pristine, oh-so-new state. Dear me.

I decided to throw in a book, The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides, on checkout. I stumbled upon it while trying to finalise my order.

Shopping online, I find, is highly, highly convenient esp if the local online seller accepts PayPal. As much as other payment options like GCash or bank deposits are acceptable, it’s more efficient to use the method that wouldn’t require you to handle any other electronic equipment or leave the comfort of your own home.

Moreover, if you find a great online seller like Avalon.ph that offers great prices — I bought the Moleskine notebooks and the book at almost half the regular price plus my experience with them have been tremendously pleasant, it felt like I was actually transacting with a real person — you’ll realise that your money can actually go far and that you didn’t have to spend extra on gas, parking, toll fees and all those extra spending if you find yourselves in a mall.

What about you guys? How do you feel about online shopping? Have you ever tried it (online shopping using PayPal payment method in particular)? If you were to shop online, what sort of things would you normally buy? Ever tried Avalon.ph?

Photo© 2008 Sasha Manuel

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Photo© 2008 Sasha Manuel

I wonder how many of us remember the significance of September 21 in Philippine history. Personally, I haven’t really given it much thought until last month when I found this old book among old things while I was organising bookshelves in the den PLUS everyone commemorated Ninoy Aquino who was assassinated during the Marcos administration and I had chanced upon a documentary: Beyond Conspiracy, After 25 Years, The Aquino Assassination on telly.

For the clueless, 21 September 1972 was the day when Former President Ferdinand E. Marcos signed the proclamation placing the entire Philippines under martial law. Which, btw, Marcos likes to call “The September 21 Movement”.

And the old book I found is penned by the very same man who was responsible for it, Ferdinand E. Marcos, Notes on the New Society of the Philippines.

Photo© 2008 Sasha Manuel

Roughly, the book is around 34 years old and this is based on the last known printing stated in it, Fourth Printing May 1974. As you can see on the photos, it wasn’t preserved well (note the portion of the pages that were eaten away by mites). I remember seeing this book as a child and it had this blue book leaf (that is if I remember it correctly) now missing. I even started to tell off my mum for not taking better care of something that can be considered a relic. All she told me was she had forgotten that we had it. She even admitted to not having read it at all.

I guess since the memory of the martial law era, people don’t think kindly of the president or anything related to him. I was really young during the EDSA revolution but I remember bits, particularly being left alone with siblings and cousins cuz my parents and other relatives were all there. Anyway, that’s probably why the book was shoved at the back of some closet.

Of course, I also had asked my mum why we had copy and I found out that the book was given out for free. Imagine that.

Photo© 2008 Sasha Manuel

Kudos to the president, if that’s the case. Taking the responsibility of informing the people after a major decision has been made is a good thing. It allows the people to better understand what was in his mind esp leading up to the decision. Though, the downside with every published work, it most likely has gone through editorials and it’ll be difficult to determine the truth from fiction. But the idea that the president of a country would find the time to write a book is quite impressive.

“.. A leader cannot shirk his duty of explaining, elucidating, and educating, whenever he can.” — Ferdinand E. Marcos, Notes on the New Society of the Philippines

Talking to a friend’s father who was pretty active in the political scene during that administration, we agreed on how brilliant Marcos was. It was just too bad that his name has become synonymous to corruption and his administration’s reputation to dirty politics. And that’s even an understatement.

I haven’t finished the book yet but, so far, I’m quite fascinated. It feels like I’m reading Marcos’ thoughts. A little guarded but teaching myself to open my mind to what he has to say about the whole martial law debacle makes it a little challenging but still educational, nonetheless.

Contents

My Fighting Faith

Foreword

Chapter I
The Hour of Decision

Chapter II
The September 21 Movement

Chapter III
The Rebellion of the Poor

Chapter IV
The Question of Equality

Chapter V
The Political Bond

Chapter VI
The Conquest of Poverty

Chapter VII
Theory and Practice in the New Society

Appendix

Index

Believe me, this is one book that I appreciate even the Appendix and Index. Scratch that. Esp for the Appendix and Index. It allowed me to be on the same page with President Marcos (no pun intended).

Have any of you read this book or any of his published works? Share! I’d love to hear your thoughts on his writing.

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Before you go “Omigod, what blasphemy!” on me, it would be better if you read the entire thing first. That is, if you can get through the first few paragraphs (which I’m wishing you would!) and have the patience to read the rest.

Christianity as a Strict Theology

I’m here to admit that there was a time in my life when I had come to a point when I had thought I can do well with a life without God. I mean, this is me thinking that having God in my life would mean going to church every Sunday, spending time praying everyday, following His commandments, etc (I think you get the picture), which is so inconvenient given the other things I still want to do. Esp if, like me, you’ve come to associate Christianity with a certain strict theology that crossing the line can mean eternal damnation.

Okay. That’s a bit of a stretch since I also have developed a relationship with God like no other. This means He’s a loving, merciful father and a faithful friend. However, my view of Him got so tainted that I’ve found myself lost in translation. I somehow forgot what it was like to have Him in my life. Why it mattered that He be part of it. After all, I am on the road to reaching my dreams anyway. It felt like I had full control over my life. He did give us free will, right? Life is about you living it, yea?

Why I Thought I Don’t Need God

But, back to that point of realisation, the reason why I had thought I didn’t need God was that I thought that happiness can be found in this world. The dreams I have are of this world, part of this world, and lived in this world. I’m the only one who can do something about it. And, by world’s standards, I can have a good life if I have these things:

Great Talent. It can be anything which you can’t help but showcase. It’s one great skill that sets you apart, makes you special. It will result to accummulating a following. A group of people to cheer for you, to clap for you. You have a group of people who will give you a feeling of security.

Good Looks. A lot of people base worth on how a person looks. Applying a point system to determine one’s worth regardless of who he or she is. If you are able to establish that you are what the society can call beautiful then you’ve somehow got it made.

Wealth. Money means access. Earn that six digit salary. Have that high spending power. Stock up on all things, luxurious or not. If you’ve got this part covered, you can easily buy everything you think you’d ever want or need.

Intelligence. Another form of measurement in the game of comparison. You are confident in your own capacity to understand everything around you. For you, a superior mind will always mean you’re better. Knowing more about something means people must listen to you, must follow what you say. It gives you this security that others are inferior to you and will look up to you.

Rightness. Putting too much stock on determining who is right. Thinking that it doesn’t really matter if any given view can be as much right as the other, the main point is winning an argument to establish that you are right. Your source of comfort is that you know that whatever it is that you are doing, it’s right.

When you have one or all of these things — you consider them vital to your dreams — then the rest of the world will love you and you will not need God to get through life. You can actually believe that you can survive without Him.

But don’t you get this feeling that all these things are not as important as they seem to be?

Now Here Lies the Conflict

All this time, what I thought was important isn’t. I’ve simply allowed my value and identity to be defined by the world. I find it taxing to be constantly needing and wanting for the rest of the world to validate my existence. I find it exhausting to find myself in a perennial cycle of comparisons and measurements just to establish my worth. I’m tired of always thinking myself less than who I am just because the rest of the world said so.

People will continually disappoint. You will lose your job or fear your tenure. You will strive to kiss bums please people so you can have access to what you know or think will bring you the recognition you desire or deserve. You will always fear that one day all that you have now will not be there. So, where will that leave you? What will you do if you’ve lost all the things you’ve considered valuable? Can you still say that you are happy with your life? With yourself? Can you continue living your life burdened with such insecurities?

I believe that most, if not all, have this desire to have people like them. To agree with them. To recognize them. To admire them. To love them. Isn’t this why we do the things we do? Seems like it’s a vicious cycle with no hope of getting out, huh?

Why I CANNOT Survive Without God

Now, this is what I have realised. What God offers is a love that brings peace which transcends all understanding. He offers to give us a hand, to help carry us through the rough patches. If we believe that God is the source of our glory, and that, ultimately, it is His approval we are seeking, then we can be certain of a lighter load. We will find joy. He loves you warts and all, you see. He has a whole lot of good things in store for you. With Him, you can bet on a good life, complete with all the things your heart desires. Why? Because what father wouldn’t give anything for his child?

This doesn’t mean going back to the strict theology that Christianity is known for, it’s simply having a relationship with Him, making room for Him in your life. Just believe that He is who He says He is.

Knowing what I now know, having experienced what I have experienced, and realising how tough life can be if lived by my own strength — how can I possibly even consider that I can survive a life without God? More importantly, how can you?

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