“The more you think about change, the more things you wind up changing; the more things you change, the better your whole life becomes.” — Mireille Guiliano, French Women for All Seasons

“Do not remain nameless to yourself — it is too sad a way to be. Know your place in the world and evaluate yourself fairly, not in terms of the naive ideals of your own youth, nor in terms of what you erroneously imagine your teacher’s ideals are.” — Richard P. Feynman, Perfectly Reasonable Deviations from the Beaten Track

“When the revelation and the grace were lost, my life was lost. Those living things that had once been there inside me, that had been for that reason of some value, were dead now. Not one thing was left. They had all been burned to ashes in that fierce light. The heat emitted by that revelation or grace had seared away the very core of the life that made me the person I was. Surely I had lacked the strength to resist that heat. And so I feel no fear of death. If anything, my physical death would be, for me, a form of salvation. It would liberate me forever from this hopeless prison, this pain of being me.” — Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

“I’m different from other people, so the life I live will have to be different from theirs.” — Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

“It is true that those we meet can change us, sometimes so profoundly that we are not the same afterwards, even unto our names.” — Yann Martel, Life of Pi

Reading. I’m really glad it’s one of the things I’ve come to love doing. I admire people who are able to put their work out there. Their ability to weave words and produce something that educates and entertains will always be something that I’ll forever be grateful for.

Your turn. What books have you been reading lately?

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“I’M SIGNIFICANT! … Screamed the dust speck.” — Calvin

Life can be utterly and taxing-ly overwhelming. I’m barely halfway through the entire length of it yet I’m already tired, aren’t you? It’s all the falling, the detours, and the countless disheartening wrong turns. Lost and just about ready to throw in the towel. Yes, quit — even when you know there are loads of things still in store in the days ahead. Partly, I reckon, it’s esp because of that.

However, you still opt to take that step forward, may it be out of sheer will coupled with hope or just due to habit formed over time. You prod on. Toil. Breathe. But what sort of life is it without passion? Without direction? Where will you get the energy to live? And I mean really live.

Go back to the simple things. Find inspiration in the mundane. This will rekindle the fire you once had. This will allow you to remember why you were doing what you are doing; how you became who you are; which road to take to reach your goals; what steps to take to better yourself. This will help your entire self to grow.

Indeed, there’s treasure everywhere. All we have to do is look at life as a child would.

Funny, I just remembered how my nephew C would sometimes say “It’s impossible” whenever he faces something difficult to do and I would always tell him, “Nothing’s impossible, C.”

It’s in times like these that I choose to take a step back and brood. And dream. With Calvin and Hobbes. I ♥ Calvin and Hobbes.

P.S. Yes, I consult my Calvin and Hobbes collection for answers to life’s almost-impossible-to-answer questions. Hehe.

Image: amazon.com

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Photo© 2008 Sasha Manuel

I wonder how many of us remember the significance of September 21 in Philippine history. Personally, I haven’t really given it much thought until last month when I found this old book among old things while I was organising bookshelves in the den PLUS everyone commemorated Ninoy Aquino who was assassinated during the Marcos administration and I had chanced upon a documentary: Beyond Conspiracy, After 25 Years, The Aquino Assassination on telly.

For the clueless, 21 September 1972 was the day when Former President Ferdinand E. Marcos signed the proclamation placing the entire Philippines under martial law. Which, btw, Marcos likes to call “The September 21 Movement”.

And the old book I found is penned by the very same man who was responsible for it, Ferdinand E. Marcos, Notes on the New Society of the Philippines.

Photo© 2008 Sasha Manuel

Roughly, the book is around 34 years old and this is based on the last known printing stated in it, Fourth Printing May 1974. As you can see on the photos, it wasn’t preserved well (note the portion of the pages that were eaten away by mites). I remember seeing this book as a child and it had this blue book leaf (that is if I remember it correctly) now missing. I even started to tell off my mum for not taking better care of something that can be considered a relic. All she told me was she had forgotten that we had it. She even admitted to not having read it at all.

I guess since the memory of the martial law era, people don’t think kindly of the president or anything related to him. I was really young during the EDSA revolution but I remember bits, particularly being left alone with siblings and cousins cuz my parents and other relatives were all there. Anyway, that’s probably why the book was shoved at the back of some closet.

Of course, I also had asked my mum why we had copy and I found out that the book was given out for free. Imagine that.

Photo© 2008 Sasha Manuel

Kudos to the president, if that’s the case. Taking the responsibility of informing the people after a major decision has been made is a good thing. It allows the people to better understand what was in his mind esp leading up to the decision. Though, the downside with every published work, it most likely has gone through editorials and it’ll be difficult to determine the truth from fiction. But the idea that the president of a country would find the time to write a book is quite impressive.

“.. A leader cannot shirk his duty of explaining, elucidating, and educating, whenever he can.” — Ferdinand E. Marcos, Notes on the New Society of the Philippines

Talking to a friend’s father who was pretty active in the political scene during that administration, we agreed on how brilliant Marcos was. It was just too bad that his name has become synonymous to corruption and his administration’s reputation to dirty politics. And that’s even an understatement.

I haven’t finished the book yet but, so far, I’m quite fascinated. It feels like I’m reading Marcos’ thoughts. A little guarded but teaching myself to open my mind to what he has to say about the whole martial law debacle makes it a little challenging but still educational, nonetheless.

Contents

My Fighting Faith

Foreword

Chapter I
The Hour of Decision

Chapter II
The September 21 Movement

Chapter III
The Rebellion of the Poor

Chapter IV
The Question of Equality

Chapter V
The Political Bond

Chapter VI
The Conquest of Poverty

Chapter VII
Theory and Practice in the New Society

Appendix

Index

Believe me, this is one book that I appreciate even the Appendix and Index. Scratch that. Esp for the Appendix and Index. It allowed me to be on the same page with President Marcos (no pun intended).

Have any of you read this book or any of his published works? Share! I’d love to hear your thoughts on his writing.

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There are small things, out of the ordinary, silly things, or grand. I’d like to think that no matter what it is, or how I’ve felt during these events, the intensity of how they add on to my life will prove to be equal. They are parts of a whole. Everything plays a part. All of them relevant.

Here are 7 things I’ve done, is doing, and will be doing that I’m thankful for this week:

1. Red Light Party. I’m glad I gave in to a friend’s request on going to this party (happy birthday, M!). I’ve met some pretty interesting characters (from uber down-to-earth rich kids, half-Germans to Koreans, a very diverse crowd) and had a blast with overflowing Sunset Mojitos and reds. Seeing Central BBQ Boy’s owner wolf down barbeque after barbeque that are not from his menu was one for the books. LOL.

2. Taking photos. It’s been over a month since I last touched my camera. (Funny cuz I’ve been daily updating my photo journal, eh?) I have to admit I’ve missed it a whole lot. It seems like I’m getting to know it all over again but good thing, it’s like riding the bike, I know I’ll get my groove back. Nothing beats seeing the photos I’m able to capture. I know this is one thing I wish to do for the rest of my life.

3. Reading. I’ve always cherished the moments that I can hold a book in my hands and discover the things that the author has in mind for the book. At present, I was able to devour two (2) books and am now on my third, the first book of the Dante Alighieri’s Divine Comedy, Inferno.

4. Dismantling the flat. It’s weird seeing the place I’ve lived in for the past couple of years being slowly dismantled. I had thought I would stay there longer than I have. I guess this is what they mean about certain things in your life that will come for a season. I had needed to be there during that period of my life and now, I’m meant to go some place else. A place where all things had started. The place where everything else will come to its rightful place. I’m excited.

5. My photo journal and other online stuff. I still can’t believe that I finally have my photo journal up and running. I’ve been faithfully updating it daily, too! I had doubted on my ability to keep up with the frequency but I’m thankful that I still have the energy and inspiration to stick with what I had promised myself to do. I’ve also been fortunate to have time to take care of the other online (and offline, too!) projects. And I’m quite excited with all the new ideas and opportunities that seem to have seemingly come out of the blue.

6. My (sort of) daily coffee dates. I’m such a creature of routine. Sometimes, when I find myself doing something that I liked one day, you’ll find me doing the same thing the next day. Due to that, I’ve been frequenting a coffee place nearby at dusk. It’s simply to enjoy time listening to music, reading, and writing. Yea, lots of writing and thinking takes place during these coffee dates. It’s just an iPod, my journal, a book (on occasion), and myself.

7. Writing. A thoroughly satisfying endeavour. I’ve always loved the moments I am able to write. Though there’s a certain satisfaction in blogging, there’s a different sense of fulfillment when I have a pen in my hand and I feel parchment on my fingertips. Seeing my handwriting on my journal makes it more personal even when the very thing that’s written down is most personal in itself.

‘Thoughts disentangle themselves when they pass through your fingertips.’
— Dawson Trotman

It always feels good to sit down and think of the things that you’re thankful for. It helps you realise that as another week starts, you can look forward to new things that will happen in your life which will make you feel grateful. It will make you see that this life you have now is an amazing life.

What about you guys? Have you thought about the things you’ve done this week? What are you thankful for this week?

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We all know that time will wait for no man. Every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year in a lifetime will not pause even if you beg it to. Everything will continue to move even if you don’t want to. Wouldn’t it be best to just move along with it instead?

There are 7 days to a week, 4 weeks to a month, 12 months to a year. And every year is like doing it all over again.

But a lot of us worry about the future too much. Wanting to live it so much that they often miss what’s happening today.

‘The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.’ — Bill Cosby

Yea, best to remember that ‘all we ever have is now’, so today, let’s all be thankful for what is here. Right now. Where you are.

Seven days give me sevens reasons to be thankful for this week:

1. Migrating. I’ve had DreamHost since May and twas only yesterday did I finally manage to migrate my personal blog, The Parody. Believe it or not, I did it on my own! Importing them files were a bit of a headache so you’ll notice a lot of missing images and *heartbreak* comments. Ah, well. What can I do, right?

2. Plurk. This allowed me to interact with new people. I love it when people I don’t know participates in conversations I either initiated or just happen to be a part of. If you have a plurk account, feel free to add me as a friend. I’d love to talk to you there, too.

3. Friday Nights. I didn’t expect this to happen but for the past couple of Friday nights, I’ve been going out to familiar places, doing familiar things but feels like I’ve never done it for a long time so it feels different — good different. Thanks, H.

4. Caregroup. If you’re a Christian, you’re familiar with this term. This is a group of people who are your spiritual support group. They may or may not be your friends, you know, people you usually hang out with but you do meet every week or something to check up on one another. However, in my case, I’ve been fortunate to have become very, very good friends with my group. We’ve been together for the past 10 years. Having these four amazing women in my life has been precious.

5. Working from Home. I almost always take it for granted. I sometimes forget that it’s a real privilege to have this opportunity to work from home. It gives me more time to enjoy life. So, I’m taking a minute to acknowledge this and express my gratitude.

6. Day 6 of Detox. Ah, cold turkey. Believe me, there were moments wherein I just want to run across the street and buy me an “emergency” pack for the times when I *need* to light up. There are still instances when I would tell myself I’ll smoke one as a “reward” for lasting this long. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I quit. Perhaps I should tell you guys all about it on a different post.

7. Photo Journal. I mean to write a separate post about this one. If you look around here, you’ll find it. But for now, I’m saving this story for later but I’m still including it in this list.

That’s my 7 reasons for this week. What about you guys? What are you thankful for today?

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With life happening all around, sometimes, it’s good to take yourself out of the things that cause you to remain where you are. It’s good to know that there’s always a way out.

There is no pill, prayer, or principle that will instantly undo the damage of many years.

There is no growth without change;
there is no change without fear or loss;
and there is no loss without pain.

We fear these losses because they were, at least, comfortable and familiar.

I’m working on unglue-ing myself. Facing old demons. Getting to know my first love all over again.

Even when I do believe that scarred people are beautiful, I also believe that I’d rather be telling the story of my healing than what caused the scar. The latter can mean pages and pages of monetizing possibilities for the blog but, hey, that’s not really the reason why I write. LOL.

Food for thought: “Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you.”

Sometimes, it’s good to think that your life IS all about you. It’s not being selfish or being self-absorbed. You’ll know if you are. But what I’m talking about is the full realisation that you know you can live with who you are. You can refuse to think about certain things, bury memories, fool yourselves (we’re pretty good at that, btw). BUT, at the end of the day, you will need to determine where your strength, wisdom, and hope are founded.

Do we really know who we are? Or do we continue to let others define who we are? Yes. We ought to have the courage to tell people off if needed, i.e. ‘Who are you to tell me that I’m less than what I should be? Silly, silly, silly.’

Anyway, I’m glad to be back. I’m thankful for all you folks who stuck around and never gave up on me. I guess you know I’ll always come around, right? And to those new to this blog, welcome. I hope you enjoy your stay. And, oh, do say hello.

I’m serving champagne to celebrate our future conversations. Cheers!

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“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.”
— Anais Nin

This is not the first time I’ve encountered this thought. The central message has been at the back of my mind, silently guiding the way I deal with people and situations, sometimes consciously and, most of the times, not.

We find ourselves amidst a storm. In it, we simply see the inconveniences and annoyances, overlooking the real dangers, sometimes. Only when it has passed that we see the things we could’ve done to prevent certain things, we see how much damage has been incurred.

Metaphorically, it can be said that there’s wisdom in hindsight. Had we heeded the signs and advise perhaps things would’ve been easier to deal with. Had we accepted that we’ve only been battling against our own reflection then perhaps a solution could’ve been reached sooner and saved ourselves from the trouble of arguments.

Serendipity

the faculty or phenomenon of making fortunate accidental discoveries

Serendipity is one of the most positive and cheerful words I’ve ever come across. I wonder how much of the definition is subjective, though. The terms, “fortunate”, “accidental” and “discoveries”. I’m quite certain that with every individual, the level of how they perceive or welcome these things in their lives differ. One can consider something “fortunate”, “accidental” or a “discovery” while others may not. Did I make sense?

Sadly, with my pessimistic nature, I hardly see accidents as fortunate at the onset and seemingly handle discoveries with indifference. I do wish I can be less uptight. Gah.

A pretty good example that I see things as I am, yeah? I hope I can see things in a better light. Enough of the insecurities clouding my perception. I can be extremely negative when I want to be.

/sighs

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It’s quite funny, actually, cuz I remember when I went to Australia without my copy, I endeavoured to buy a new one simply because I had wanted to read it again. LOL. Also, during that same time, I had wondered, nay, wished that they’d make a film out of the book, so, imagine my elation when I found out the movie came out when I was there.

I had made plans of seeing it alone even when I really don’t do that (watching movies by myself), in a foreign country no less. Hehe. But off I went. I admit I was looking forward to the experience but my plans were foiled when a guy asked if it’d be alright to see the movie with me. I didn’t think that any harm would come off it, so, I agreed (oh, don’t look at me like that, I can’t help it if he looks like Colin Farrell now could I? Complete with that Irish accent! LOL). This guy I ended up dating for a while when I was there. And, no, I won’t give out his name. Heh.

Anyway, soon after that I heard that there was a longer version of it, a BBC miniseries (2 Discs, 300 minutes), which stars Colin Firth. I knew then that he would play Mr. Darcy real well. I’ve been searching for it, hoping to get a copy locally. No such luck, well, until my brother, that is.

Early this week, he came back from a business trip in the US and I had asked him to place an order for that very film. Imagine me grinning as I hold my very own copy of the Special Edition DVD of Pride & Prejudice. Hehe. Sweet! I’ve never felt so content in my life, er, so far. Hahaha.

To give you an idea on what makes the book special to me, I’ve lifted a few exceptional excerpts (personal choice, of course) that speak volumes of what can be expected from Jane Austen’s work.

“…that loss of virtue in a female is irretrievable — that one false step involves her in endless ruin — that her reputation is no less brittle that it is beautiful — and that she cannot be too guarded in her behavior toward the undeserving of the other sex.”

“Sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with is the one person you can’t be without.” (movie)

“Pride is a very common failing I believe. By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed, that human nature is particularly prone to it, and that there are very few of us who do not cherish a feeling of self-complacency on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary.

Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain.

Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”

With every film adaptation, esp with someone like me who happens to have read the book a number of times, you can’t help but compare, yeah? You’d often find yourself exclaiming things like, “that’s not how it is in the book!” or “it wasn’t Mary who said that but Eliza!” So, yea, it’s important to “adapt” the book well, to preserve the very essence of the author’s work. Which explains why I had compared the two films. I like Colin’s version since it tried its best to remain faithful to the book whereas Kiera’s version — though it does have awesome cinematography and a beautiful cast — did not.

On my insistence, my brother also brought home other films based on Jane Austen novels: Emma, Mansfield Park and Persuasion.

Emma is fun. It’s where Alicia Silverstone’s Clueless was based on (so that’s why I loved that movie, too! It’s Jane Austen inspired! LOL). Mansfield Park is a witty and stirring film, delves on the line between poverty and wealth and if you’re willing to cross it and at what price. It also asks the question, “Will you marry for love or will you marry for money?” I have yet to watch Persuasion and I’m looking forward to it.

Related Read:
Pride & Vanity
Pride & Prejudice (book review)
Pride & Prejudice (movie review)

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“Everything we do affects other people.”
— Luke Ford

I reckon it’s true. It may be to immediate people surrounding us (circle of influence) or some random person you encounter on a normal day.

The effect may not be grand or catastrophic but it’s still an effect all the same.

This is not a call to legalisation of actions or to resort to a conservative paradigm. It’s simply a reminder that all of us should be wary of what we do, however minute it may be. A ripple can turn into a wave or a single peso can amount to millions. Bottomline, most of the time, great feats start with small steps.

Yes, dear friend, what you do matters to the rest of the world.

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For every individual, there are different levels of intensity on how they deal with a loss. It wouldn’t automatically mean the end of the world or that it’s a signal of the beginning of the dark ages. Sometimes, it’s just as simple as a bump on the road but for others, it can mean — heartbreak.

What are the kinds of losses that can trigger such an emotion? It can make you think, actually. Is it limited to relationships alone?

It can be a loss of a father even when he’s still alive, a journal that has records of your dreams, your past and your hopes for the future, a project that you risked a whole lot of yourself just to keep it afloat, or, yes, what everyone would associate this post with, a partner, whom you’ve offered your heart, which you laboured to keep safe the past six years, to with few questions asked.

Life is not only about what’s fair. I reckon it’s all about what you take from it — how you live it. I’ve always put more weight on the present over anything else. The past teaches me. The future inspires me but it’s the present, which matters because that’s where I am.

I guess dealing with losses and heartbreaks can be really difficult. But I believe that it’s through God’s mercy will I find the reason behind all of it. I’m trusting His heart that He knows what’s best for me. He has given me that gift, which I lost. I reckon, there’ll come a day when He’ll give me one more opportunity. No ifs nor buts. Just happily ever after.

“If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough.”
— Mario Andretti

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